Merry Christmas

this is one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite Christmas special:

Birthday Party of the King

Christmas trees are brightly lighted

Through the world the church bells ring

Great and small are all invited

To the birthday party of the king

Mighty King and humble peasant

Each must choose a gift to bring

Do you have a birthday present

For the birthday party of the King

Once wise man came in his Honor

Bringing innocence gold and Myrrh

But what is Gold to a ruler

Who has all the stars to hold?

Do you know what gift will please him?

Please him more then any thing?

Bring a heart that really loves him

To the birthday party of the king!

From the Stingiest man in town

just love the black and white

I have been in a mood lattly to watch some old movies. lucky for me my local liberary has a good silection of classic films. so in the last two nights i have watched

Wonderful film, and what really gets me, you never seenthe dead bodies. there are two dead bodies floating around on this movie but you never see them.

I did not reolize that it was THE Jack Nicholson at first. I enjoyed the mistory of this film and the twist. though the ending is very disopointing, I mean it just ends, however the ending works the thrid movie is:

all I can say is Humphy Bogart where have you been all my life? casablanca has gone on to my list of all time favorit movies.

I have to say though after watching a couple of black and white pictures I have found that I really enjoy the style of these pictures. sure they did not have color and well color is cool, but the way the shadows move and the glares are controled is amazing. maybe it is the same as why My art teacher in highschool said that he was not going to lose his dark room. I really like it, any way i have the original Mr, and Mrs. smith to watch tonight.

guesss what

I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's all I wanted to say

it is offical

last night i gave my resignition to the Church board. after family camp i will no long be the youth and children's pater here at cornnerstone comunity church. I will be a full time graduate student.

a new fictional hot topic in christian circles.

I was thinking of posting something on the Golden Compass. I am interested to see that not only has this been a hot topic in Your Christan circles like harry potter, but also has made it's way into newspapers and on television.

Some may think this is just like the whole Harry Potter thing that happened and then died down because people actually read the books and realized that the books are about as dangerous as Star wars. However unlike Harry Potter these books are not just a story, they are meant to stand in opposition of the Chronicles of Narnia.

I read the first two books of the trilogy. the quality of writing is not the greatest, the subject matter is basically what you have heard from the debate. the author set out to create a anti-Narnia, and challenge all traditions particularly Christianity. it is in there, and and the author affirming in these statements.

this movie won't be that bad, nothing really happens till the second book.

all that being said, it actually has nothing to do with why i am not going to see the movie.
I actually was undecided for a while because I actually like the witches, they are pretty cool, but that was it. I latter thought well maybe I should see the movie just because of the hype. I mean if it is going to be the source of a new controversy maybe it would be good to watch it.

but I have decided that i am not going to see it. Not because it is evil, (the first book is not evil it is just setting the stage for the atheistic and agnostic themes), but simply because I didn't like the books, hence why i did not read the third book. I only read the second book because the first book ended well. by the end of the second book I thought the story was stupid and heretical and just not worth my time. (and i never thought that of any of the harry potter books even when I was on the anti harry potter side, or the DaVinci Code).

So watch it don't watch it what ever, I just wanted to give my opinion because I read the books and thought the story sucked. When it comes down to it if I only could watch one movie this month in theater it is going to be the new national treasure Movie.

December

well it is December. and guess what I woke up to snow this morning. Oh the beautiful and Gloriusness of snow. I love the snow, it is why i never want to live anywhere that it doesn't snow ever again. which is a little idealistic sence i am looking at moving to kentucky next year because this whole internet schooling sucks.



as for NaNoWriMo, sadly I failed. somewhere in chapter three of my novel things took a rabbit trail and i have no idea of where things ended up. However Because school work is lightening up and work is also slowing down I am giving myself one more week to make the dead line. it is a long shot but hey I am going to be positive that I will beable to finish.

Happy By nothing day

Today is the day to boycott the evil afluenza that is so prevelent in our socety.

thanksgiving in Arizona

I love visiting AZ. Pheonix is one of my favorit citys (of course i mean the greater pheonix area cause i acutally spent most my time in Maesa and Queen creek). it is a truly beautiful city. here are some highlights:

1st would be dinner at Daine and Allison's house. Aunt Ann put together a wonderful mean wail Uncle Dave maned the grill to cook hamburgers and hot dogs to perfection. It was at this meal that a very speical thing happened. My causin Laura (from my mom's side) came to see us. It was so good to see her. I hadn't seen her sence before her baby was born. and Nya was so presious.

2nd would be thanksgiving dinner. Uncle Mike is the best cook I know and he was in charge so the turkey was delectable. I started listing off reasons we should be thankfull with my causen chilease that only had to do with food. My favorit was that we should be thankful we are not Kosher. which she did not understand so I explained that if we were Kosher we could not have gravy on our turkey because you don't mix milk products with Meat.

3rd also at thanksgiving dinner. I met my causin brandon's soon to be bribe, Darcy. At one point during the evening everyone cleard the coutch cause the movie was over and she desided to lay out and enjoy the coutch all to herself. Me being the person that I am desided this was a perfect opertunity for some bonding, which meant I punced her. We both laughed a wail and then talked about stuff. Then Brandon came along, and me being the person that I am and having the relationship that i have with brandon said, "come on brandon join us." so he rolled over the back of the coutch and laid on both me and Darcy. then because brandon is the person that he is he started tickeling both of us.

4th would be zoolights. the Pheonix Zoo takes a bunch of lights and strings them all over the zoo. it was way cool. there were trees that were completely covered with lights and a talking graffe which interacted with the croud and actually talked to two of my causins. this was a great outing because it included several of my family members, including another of my Stricker causins, amanda the beuatiful model who is on her way and even got her picture taken with her greatest infulence Jessica Simpson. I got to spend time with her and it was great because I had not seen her in several years.

5th last but not least me, my mom, sisters, a couple causins, a couple aunts and My GRANDMA went and got pedicures. I had never had one before and it was great. but more importaintly my grandmother had never had one before either and she is 79 years old.

It was a great trip inwhich many memories were made. I can not wait to do it all again next time.

10 reasons I don't like distence learning

10. I have found there is such a thing as too small a class.

9. it is easy to get discuraged and harder to find encouragement

8. there are less places to study with less distractions

7. I have no internet in my house so when i have a problem I have to go far away to get the answer.

6. there are less people to rant with about the assignment.

5. My living room now has to double as my school, class room, study hall, and liberary

4. a worm hole sucks up my home work instead of the dog eating my homework

3. there is no one to barrow notes from if you don't understand something

2. the proffesser is never avalible

1. I miss the class room

"I Am With Isreal" by Arab American Emilio Karim Dabul

This is a poem was writen by Emilio Karim Dabul in responce to the poem written by one of the greatest arab poets Nizar Qabbani entitled: I am with Terrorism.

Emilio Karim Dabul wrote:

I am with Isreal
because a people so long denied
bread and freedom,
crushed under the wheels of
pharaohs, emperors, czars and Fuhrers,
Has done more then any other people
to free the world from itself.

What single people in history have
contributed more to faith, sceince
philosophy and the arts?
And done so against the greatest odds
with a sword to thier throats...

I am with israel
Because my people, so long in the desert
have not had the courage to acknowledge the great teachers among them
but instead have turned on thme
blamed them for all the evil and shed thier blood


what other people could crawl away
from the wreckage of the holocause
and, insteat of seeking revenge,
build the miracle called isreal?

Why, as Wufa Sultan has asked, have
there been no jewish homicide bombers?
Perhaps it is because despite all the
spit, kicks, and insults they've faced
along with the constent threat of eviction
the jew would rather build then destroy

I am with isreal
becuase I am with life,
and because beyound its verdant desert,
Isreal offers the knowledge that those most desirous of peace and freedom
are a people who have so long been denied it,
and who with all they know of the world ,
look still towards Jerusalem and reach
for thier enemy's hand."

the cribbage game

My family and I are mad card players. allf our of us kids learned to play cards as soon as we understood the concept of games. starting with Go Fish, match, and old maid, moving to kings cornor(also known as spider) which lead to rummie, salitare, before graduating to Gin, Nertz, hand and foot,poker and cribage.

card games are very importaint in our house. My grand father (the catholic one) put money in my mom's account to help pay for college from his time spent at the Gin tables.

well it has been a hard year having no one to play cards with. I mean I took my hand and foot deck, and my cribage board with me to south america and the girl i became friends with said she did not belive it was okay for christains to play cards. and in bismark i have no frinds that randomly drop by to play cards. it is a sad sad state to be in.

because of this when i was home i jumped at the chance to play a little cribage with my parents. we played 3 or four games andsomething very intersting happend. one game both me and my mother misdelt. now misdealing is a big deal in cribage because who ever had the deal had the crib and if you misdeal the deal goes to the next person and the you lose your chance at the crib.

so my mother i and my father are all siting around the table as mom is dealing out the cards but she desided to only deal to me and her. the funny part was that when we asked mom what she was doing she did not reolize that she was doing anything wrong. that was misdeal number one.

then a couple hands latter when it was my Crib i started deal....but I delt counter clock wise. this would not have been a big deal except that on the second round i switched and delt clock wise.

so that was the comidy of errors cribage night at the Cole house.

Going Home

Well if you went to my story blog, you know that I went home this past weekend. My sisters had thier homecoming football game and they are in color gard. which means they had thier big display for halftime. all their music was from westside story. they did great, though i haven't heard yet what they got at state marching band. as soon as i know i will probably have an anouncement here, along with a picture.

It's almost time for.....

NaNoWriMo

also known as November is National writers month! I wanted to make an anouncement here because i know some of my friends int he worlderful world of BBC are writers at least aspiring writers and I thought maybe some of you would like to take onthe challenge.

the challenge is to write a novel in one month. basically the idea is to just write. all those ideas that may be floating around in that head of yours and just write it down. October is the planing period. nothing can be started till November first at 12:00 am.

Last year I was one week from finishing on time. this year my goal is to finish bythe dead line. I have also joined the group NoNaWriMo. and if you like you can do the same or if you would like to just know more about this crazy thing you can go to: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

It is a fun fun time, and I sugest you try it.

Sun light

I was going to do something different on my blog these past few days, but it is dark. For some reason everything seems dark. everything seems like a shadow is falling over the world. So instead of talking about what i was going to say I am going to attempt to let some sun light into the world.

Sun shine dances through the window.
Rainbows still mean that God keeps his promises
Tulips will come in the spring and will always make me smile
Puppies and kitties will always be packeges of joy
the seasons are magical weither the changing of the leaves, the warmth of the sun, the buds of spring, or the cristels of winter

one small flame will send shadows running
if the caged bird can sing with the hope of being free again then I can have hope too.
God still is in control,
and God still works miricles even if they don't look like miricles

Poem

The first trial today is that of a you girl
her crime?
refusing to submit to an aranged marrage
her sentince?
to be held under water till dead.

Next on the docket
a starved twelve year old boy
his crime?
stealing a mouth full of bread?
His sentince?
to have a truck roll over his arm braking it at the elbow and tohave no medical treatment.

next a women
Her crime?
she inticed a man to rap her and became pragnet
her sentince?
to be slashed open sos to be sure the child dies with her

next a man
his crime?
leaving the true religon for another
his sentince?
to have needles forced under his nails till he gives up the names of his leader, then stoned

next 100 people
thier crime?
they were born of the wrong liniage
their sentince?
some death, some disfiguration, some scared from a car bomb

the father who drawneds his daughter?
Exhonherated
The man who crushes a young boy's arm?
Celebrated
the brother who slashes his sister?
a slap on the wrist to apees the "athorities"
the holy man who tortures?
congradulated
the warrior who sets the bomb?
canonised

New CD

This is my newest CD. and I am impressed, Just when you think that casting crowns couldn't get any better they do. I Got this CD because while at a Music festivel they played a song form this CD that is now being over played on the radio. But just like the first time I heard Life Song I have follen in love with every song on this CD.

Casting crowns stays true to their ablitiy to create though provocing, convicting and Practical songs with this CD. From an understanding of how God forgives with a beautful word picture, To discribing the slow decay of relationships through the words of a song we all learned as children in sunday school.

and for me personaly a story that i have been reworking has found it's theme in the song What This World Needs.

Its only wednesday?

I can not belive that it is only wednesday. I feel as thought i have stuffed three years into the last 5 days. Purhaps it is becasue is till have not Caught up on my sleep from Pow wow, a big even that was last weekend that was a town wide thing. Purhaps it is because i still don't have some of the books i ordered. maybe it is because i woke up with a head cold this morning. maybe it is because i can not figure out why I had to get gass on sunday when my check book says i had just baught gas on the 4th. maybe it is because as of yet whitney is not defering my loan.

Or maybe i am just completely in over my head and need to bail off a sinking ship.

Bridge to tarabitha

I had been looking forward to seeing this movie because i really enjoyed the book. sadly becasue i had heard some negative things about the movie i desided not to go see it in theaters. Man I wish i had.

after watching the movie i was riminded of my own tarabithia. I lived in a trailer park till i was 12 and then my parents moved to a 47 acear plot of land. I was excited and knew that it would be a place for adventures and where i could let my imagenation run free without having to worry about the strange looks from neighbors.

I shared my tarabithia with two causins. together we sailed the mississippi river, fought guaints, went on quests, were knights, princeses, Musketeers, and even our favorit tall tale heroes. wheather it was hidding up in Atrau's look out, or having make belive tea in the emerald castel, or Hidding in sharewood forest we always had fun. we where the rulers of our very own kingdom that molded to what ever book we had resently read and wanted to live.

it was there that i began to create the worlds that I now write. in the long walks alone in the silents of trees and srubes I entered a new place that only existes for those who know how to look.

ps go to Cursed to see Sketch.

I love my sisters

well I had a fun weekend. My sisters desided to take a road trip to come and see me. they are starting school today and they wanted to do some school shopping. Mom let them come to bismarck and spend the week end with me.

I was excited because it woudl be a chance for me to spend some time with my sisters who are now in 12 grade. but I was worried because i am not someone who likes to go out on the town and my sisters are. I did not want them to end up going all over the poace and leaving me behind, however they were content to do what ever even if that ment renting videos and watching them in my apartment.

we spent the first day shoping. I took them to a very nice second hand store where they both made off like bandets. we walked the mall and did some shopping up north of town. one of the kids from my youth group desided to Join up with us at the mall and stay for dinner. He was surprised when we got back to my apratment that all three of us Girls took the tiem to un pack everythign we had bought, sourt, remove the tages, and foild the cloths that we had bought. after all you must remind yourself what all you bought, foild neatly so they don't get wrinkeled, and condence into one back because even though you got them all at different stores you really only need one shopping bag. (and you must never do this at the mall because wail at the mall you must have something that shows how many stores you have been to.)

for dinner that night we made mom's fabules chicken fried stake. and we did it almost flawlessly. there was not a lot of drippings left over from the stake so the gravy was not so good. oh and for those who have lived with me in the past the most amazing thing happend. I cooked and the fire alarms did not go off.

the next day we worked on our song for sunday. some ladies at the church asked me if the three of us would sing, so we agreed, we sang Ginni Owen's If you want me to. we went out to dinner at Jonny corino's which is the best italian resteront in bismarck. and to top it off we went to a movie. No reservations. it was a fun film and I highly recomend it...though wait for it to come out of video it was definetly not a must see at the theater.

the last thing i must add is that i have sucsessily addicted my mother and sisters to Gilmore girls. in fact my mother had me buy the first season for her because i had her watch an episode form the second season when she had visited a month ago. and my sister megan... everytime we got back to the apartment she turned on the telli and it on. they almost watched half of the second season on saturday.

I can not wait till they deside to come back!

a day of morning

Today i have learned that the weekly world news is going to end on Agust 27. although i never could convince my self to buy one of these out ragious news papers i have enjoyed several laughs at the bezzar headlines that grace the Magazine rack amoung the headlines about who really killed that little girl so many years ago, how many children Brad and Angelina have, and who's in rehab, whos cheating on who and with who.

It was a place where the line between reality, fantisy, and the spiritual could live side by side. to think that these headlines would be gone is very sad for me.

the headline I will always remember was the one about the two lovers from the titanic that had been found floating in life preserver. it was a neat picture after all.

I also will always remember the song some speach and debate friends wrote in honnor of the world's only reliable news paper. "it's in the weekly world news So you know that it must be true, it's in the weekly world news!"

sadly we must prepare to bit our finel fairwells to bat boy, big foot, the world's biggest cat, Alein invaders, the aligator that lives in the underbelly of the big apple, and the lockness monster. for without the weekly world news thier voices will be silenteds.

thoughts from Zola Levitt

Zola Levitt was the greatest Messianic Jewish teacher of our time. he was raised a jew and then because a Christain. His ministry was dedicated to showing jews that Jesus was their long awaited messiah and helping gentile Christians understand the Old testiment and thus better understand the New Testiment.

I was watching an over veiw of his ministry, it was a celibrationof his life. He died a year ago. And one of the things he said in one of the clips on this video was, "when God chooses a people, Saten chooses a people." he said this in reference to the political and phisical turmoil that has gone one in isreal sinse it because a nation.

Now I have been taking my youth group threw a serise called facts that provide a basis for faith. this series was not to make an argument for christianity but rather to strangthen the faith that each of them already have.

this week I wanted to talk to them about Dead Sea Scrolls and the Nag Hammadi Scrolls also known as the Gnostic scriptures. and when I Heard Zola say this about God and saten both choosing a people. my thoughts turned to these to librearies. Both have had a huge impact on the western world, mostly on the religious commuinty. the Dead Sea Scrolls have shined a spotlight on the Old testiment and "have ushered in a new era of Biblical study" as Josh McDowell said.

at the same time the Gnostic libreary has cast a shadow on what the New testoment says about Jesus, his followers, and the early church.

these two librearys are the most talked about finds of modern Archeoloagy. each dealing with the bible, and each going in a different direction.

with Zola's statment i thought "uh...maybe the find at Nag hammadi was some what orcistrated so that Saten would add valitity to the causes that have been bringing the question of the Historical Jesus."

I know that i may be sounding quite the mistic at the moment. but could it not be that when God revelied a set of scriptures to reafirm the truth of his word, Saten did the same?

follow up

Yesterday in sunday school the gentalman who leads the youth groupon sundays gave a leson from Acts 8 and 9. wail talking about the Etheopian andPhillup He mentioned that he belived that because God had Phillup taken away after the ethiopian was baptised there is no need for follow up, ever. so long as they have a bible then your job is done when they are converted.

I wiped my head around so I could see him and thought What? I opened my mouth to say something but then closed it because i did not think that it was the right time to discuse wheither or not that was true all the time. mostly because the last time i happened to say that i disogreed with him we ended up haveing a 15 minuet debate about why one of us was right and one was wrong, and i did not think that was opropreate at the moment.

I don't know how i paied attention to anything else after that because my mind thought about a diagram i had seen either in my youth group or in Mike McNeal's class. It shows that you could just do the evangelism thing and not worry aobut anything after that, you may win people but they may never get very deep or lead any one else to christ. the other option is to pour into three people about christ and in desipleship so they go out and do the same for three more people each, and then the ones they have desipled go out and do the same thing.

Peter said that some of the things paul said were hard to understand. and one proffessor said that reading the historical books "may lead to Culture shock."

to have someone who came to christ in an emotional situation and then leave them with a bible, is not very kind. I am not saying that the bible can only be understood by theologens in thier ivory towers. rather that it is irresponcible to not atleast help a brand new convert find a church where they can be nurtured by people who are more mature in thier faith.

reading intervention

I think i am gettign very close to that place where to much is too much. I reolised that I am curently reading on an almost daily basis six books and on an about weeky basis two others. all these books are iether for pleasure or devotional purposes.

I read every young women's battle for my just woke up devotional to kinda help wake my mind up, and then at breakfest i move on to Utmost for his highest which depeneding on how much breakfest I still have i follow this up by Pulpit crimes... which is an interesting book he makes some good points but mostly he attacts the post modern church and the seeker sensitive movement... then in the after noons when i have time I crack open the illiad.. yep i am still on my first read through of this book....and in the evenings I try to read a little of Writers on Writing as kind of a writing devotional before i start writing for the evening. then lately when i get into bed before i do my daily bible reading i have been reaching for my copy of daughter of the forest...almost barrowed wolf skin from the liberary to replace it with...

then i have been reading the freedom writer's diaries for a form of resurch, and also i have been sneeking into barnes and noble to read harry potter because i have no desier to own the book and i did not put my name on the book list at the liberary like i did the last two times the books came out.

then today I made my weekly trek to the liberary for some gilato and the writing workshop i have been attempting to create. and guess what... well i guess you don't have to guess because i am going to tell you any way. the liberary is celibrating star wars thirty years of being in existence. so all three of their front display tables were covered with star wars books. there were books that i hadn't known about but now that i have seen them i know i must read them. the han solo triligy, the clone war novel, the Rogue planet, then this mini sereis that seems to focus on Ben kenobie (pretty sure i spell that wrong) that looks interesting.

but the book that made it into my hand was one of three collections of short stories: stories from the Mos eisly cantina, which gives a short story for all the strange and bizzar people we saw in Star wars 4 a new hope when ben and luke go into the cantina to find Han. the next one was called tales of the bounty hunters which gives a story for the bounty hunters we see in the Empire strikes back, and then the third one is Stories from Jabba's palace which gives theback stories for the different carectors we see there in the return of the jedi.

I read the first story inthe liberary and then read the second one as i walked back to my apartment.

will someone stage an inter vention please, i am now reading 8 books six of which are not on my reading list for this month.

VBS

the wonderfulest part of the sumer in church buisness. VBS. our theme is Indiana Jones. and i have been having so much fun because I am incharge of the story telling which means i am Dekota Joe. I love VBS and i love being one of the leaders now that i am too old to be one of the kids.

the sad thing is more and more churches are not having VBS anymore. many times it is because they can not get enough helpers. and i think that is sad because VBS was one place where I learned alot about God and Jesus. not to menchion i can still sing many of the songs i sang wail at VBS.

and i guess i can not imagen why anyone would not want to be involved in this ministry. it's fun I have been volinteering at VBS sence i was in Jr. High. but then that is just me.

Great News

I got accepted into Asbury for the Fall!

thats all....

I'm back

Okay sonshine fest was amazing. I saw Flatfoot, which is a celtic punk band, David Crawder band, Toby Mac ( In which I busted a move and even got an aplouse and made new friends) Newsboys (in which God spoke to me in an amazing way) Jeremy Camp (in which I sold two paints that i had done that day), casting crowns (In which I painted inthe dark with a flash light in one had and the brush in the other) KJ-52, a couple different bands in the 3degree club, thousand foot chrutch (which got a little crazy in the moshing) Relient K(In which I was in the mosh and fell then crowd surfed from the front to the back, and finished up with Switch foot.

my favorit had to have been Flatfoot, they were amazing. I mean who wouldn't love Punk with a set of bagpipes and a mandoline.

thou Newsboys were the best i had ever seen them. I will be posting piktures as soon as i get them developed.

Sonfest!

Hey all!, tomarro i head out for a musicfestivel in Minasota. i am very excited, newsboys is going to be there and so is casting crowns. I'll tell you all about it when I get back.

Book of Mormon

now no one freek out too quickly. I am not going to write here why the book of mormon is an evil book or why I have rejected the book of mormon.

yesterday i had some time and started to read it. I have been plaining to read this for several years but never really got around to it. yesterday i actually got around to it. and I have some question from the first four chapters of nephi, things that stood out to me.

1. Nephi 1:1 why does Nephi take the time to give a resime? none of the prophets in the oldtestement nor the apostels ever tell people why they should be listened to, rather they just say God told me this or even less. Paul gave his list of recomends once but only to say that it was completely worthless.

2. Nephi 1:10, why does it use firmiment?

3. Nephi 1:4, Nephi menchens phrophets but he does not tell us their names, if his father was a prophet during the reign of Zedikiah his contemperaries would have been Jerimiah and Ezekiel. Jerimiah and Ezekiel make breif reference to eachother. why does Nephi not make reference to them or why don't they make reference to Lehi?

4 Nephi 2:7, why does Lehi make a sacrifice to God? according to the Law only those of the line of Levi could make sacrifices, and the only place that sacrifices could be made was where the ark of the covenent was which was God's presents on earth. which is why the jews do not offer sacrifices today.

5. Nephi 2, this journey that Nephi's family took to the red sea sounds like a weekend trip, the red sea is a long way from jerusalem.

6. Nephi 1-5 why does ever verse start with a conjunction?

I am not trying to bash the book I just wrote down some questions i had as i was reading.

worship Journel 3

Casting Crowns has a song called stain glass masquerade and in that song there is a line that asks, "am I the only one in church who's traded the alter for a stage?"

my question today is; when does the alter become a stage? could it be when the pulpit and the organ become golden cavles that cannot be moved? could it be when the leaders are set in thier ways that they refuse to let anyone else into thier little click? could it be when the war fo music becomes so strong and issue that it is more importaint what kind of music we play then wiether or not it is helping people come to worship God? could it be when the acts of worship becomes acts and performance?

the answer is all of the above. But...but how do you tell the difference between the alter and the stage?

Just because A small church is still usinging a pipe organ and the pastor still preaches behind a monstrous pulpit and only sings hyms does not mean that it is dead and out of touch with people... it also doesn't mean that the church hasn't moved from holyness to leagalism and tradition.

and Just because a large church who uses drama, and new music, and lights where the pastor preaches sitting on a bar stool does not mean that God is not worshiped... it also doesn't mean they are not curruptable.

the church that has a stage lookes the same as the one iwht an alter. so how do you tell the difference?

family camp update,,,,Stupid

I have done a lot of stupid things in my life. I have thought a lot of stupid things in my life. tonight deffinetly is one the top list of stupid things i have thought.

Tonight was the ordination service at family camp. now this may seem strange to some people but the odrination services are some of my favorit services to go to. for some reason God always speaks to me at these services in an amazing way. and tonight this was no different. God reafrimed my calling and my passion. He quieted my fears about being ordained and my hesitations.

But there was something else that happened at the service, something else that has left me mopei and depressed. and it is the stupidest thing. you ready? okay prepare yourself because this is really stupid.

through the service i kept thinking two more years...two more years till its me sitting in that front row listening to the words of the area GS and the DS. two more years, that doesn't seem like a long time. and you know what the scary part was i reolized that i would be most likely standing there alone. unlike the young men who will be ordained the same year as me they will most likely be married or engaged. this is most likely.

now before you say oh a lot can happen in two years, here's the thing, the guy friends that I have are either married, taken, or in the youth group that i lead. yeah a lot can happen in two years but guess what from where i am standing there are no prospects, and I am not sure i want to get married anyway, but that is another story to be told at another time.

and it is not the standing alone part that gets me, it is the finel prayer that people say over the canidates. Now I have never been to a ordination service were a man who was ordained was single. he has always married or engaged. I am not saying that it doesn't happen but i have not seen it. the prayer over these men and over their wives about how God should straingthen them and help them be a good helpmeet.

the only person i have seen get ordained who was single was a female missionary to russa, and you know what they prayed over her, they prayed that God woud bring a future husben into her life to help her in her ministry.

Now these thoughts were comng together in my head during different times in the survice and i thought, I don't want anyone to pray that over me. at least not out loud where i have to know about it.

Not because i am against marrage, i think it is a great thing and If god has it planned for my life then fine, but rather because it strickes a hurt that is very deep that i have only come to understand resently. to me praying this where i can hear it for me would be like saying that without a husben without a man I am inadiquet to fulfill the calling that God has placed on my heart. now I know that that is not what these ministrs mean, I know that is not what most people mean. but I am so tired of little things that have been said to me that have attempted to steal my ablity to feel complete without a husbend.

So now i am sitting at the camp ground feeling depresed over this whole marrage thing and suddenly being afraid to go through the odination cerimony.

Like i said Stupid.

Movie review

Today I must recomend this movie. it is a wonderful black and white film that is about the struggles of one family on the homefront during world war two. unlike most WWII movies this film looks at the war from the eyes of those who were left behind by Husben and father, and a boy friend.

As the movie unfoilds the charectors face the realities of the war and how it effects them. whether it is chosing to not use the black market, or entertaining the many soldures on leave to missing thier father and not knowing where he is. this movie looks into the choses that people made in this era to survive and do their part of the war.

there is no concetration camps or explosive battle senes, rather it is people dealing with the war on a level that is less glamerous but is just as much a part of the war.

a request

I have a storyt hat i am wanting to sent to a publisher. but be fore that happends I need to have some one else read it and edit it. now I know that you are all buisy but i was wondering if any of you would mind editing it for me and just giving me a overal how it well it is written, or if it is any good. if some would not mind doing that then please let me know.

Depressing thursday

Good news there is a new instalment to my story, hope you you enjoy.

other then that I have been very depressed lattly. work sucks, simply. and i don't mean my work at the church, that is fine, it is my other job. the one i had to get becasue i have this thing called studentloans.

basically they are short handed. if I wanted to be full time there my boss would probably do a happy dance. as it is now i am working there way more then i want to. i have not had the time to paint sence i started working there. this week i don't feel like i even have time to write. i hope someone else gets hired soon, I don't know how much longer i can take this schedual. I am sure it will pass, eventually.

Worship Journal 1

I wonder if maybe some people go through the motions in worship so much that they have forgotten what worship is. you know that they think that they are worshiping but really they are not. somehow we lose.

I just wonder if sometimes we don't put up barrios between Us and God and God and others.

some times i think worship becomes about us and not about god. even in this war of music. all music belongs to God, even the fluffy stuff can be worship, (yes i did say that, after all what good would a pillow be if there was no fluff?)

I wonder If God is worshiped during the singing part of my service? Is it just a performances for those on the stage, is it just going through the motions for those in the pews, or do we come to lay our hearts on the alter as a sacrifice?

New to HBO

so HBO has a new TV show. it is called big love and it is a bout a poligamust mormon family. I am in shock but i guess i really shouldn't be because after all there is a lds canadate for the 2008 election. I am apoled though that this practice which has mostly been practiced by more fanatical groups of mormonism is now being paraded on primetime television. the feminist in me lashes out because this is so direogatoriy towards women, and discusting. why should a man demand not to share his wife but a wife must share her husbend? it is steps backwards for the sefferadge of women.

but in this age of talarence we must see that there is a second side to this story. maybe he really loves all three of his wives... you know that can't eat, can't sleep reach for the stars, over the fince world series Love.

or maybe it is one of the many other reasons for getting married, you know money, stablity, lonleyness, family honnor, salvation (at least for the mormon), sex, kids, and i am shure that there are other reasons that for marrage.

I have not seen this show yet, but i think i will try to find a way to watch it because i only have some rabit ears and don't get HBO. i have a feeling thought that it will be the mormon version of the Deona Reed show. perfect happy loving family where the house is always clean, and the food is one the table the minuet the husben comes home from work and the wife always looks her best.

it's thursday again

so I have a new story post.

other then that i have had an intersting week, most of it had been spent writting my sermon for sunday. my first time preaching in my new church. lets hope everythign goes well. i mean my boss is not going to be here he is going to a wedding in MT.

the new post, as i was typeing it up i started to wonder if it had gotten fluffy. I like it but i am worried that it might be a little too sterio tipical christian writting type thing. tell me what you think.

oh on a nother note i ran into some Mormon Misionaries and I agreed to meet with them. they seem like nice guys.

Graduation

so this sunday at church the graduates were reconized. and i did not think that i would be up there, becasue this is usally for the high school. but I was also reconized. and I got cards, with money in them.



I really did not think I would be made a fuss of. I mean the church got me quick verse and that is awsome, but I did not expect to get 120 dollars as well. I mean, High school that's a big deal. theres glamer pictures, parties, invitations, and family coming up for the day.



college well it is imporrtaint and maybe it should be celibreated more then High school but when it comes down to it peopel don't seem to make as big a deal about it.

so I was very surprised when people fromthe church started handing me cards. verys surprised. and I had to stand up front with all my teens who graduated yesterday. it was a very wierd feeling.



So i did not expect to be made a fuss about

Galeed's story part one

even if you have not read any of the story i have been posting on line I would really like it if My friends who do wonder through here every now and then would take a moment to look it over and tell me what you think. it is a longer post then the others but it and the one that follows are some of my favorit posts so far. they were a lot of fun to write and were written the week before easter.

Here there be Dragons

This book was written by a student of my grand father and when he came back to Taylor for a book signing my grandparents got a signed copy for each of their kids. becasue i am the one who loves fantisy it is now on my book shelf with the rest of my favorit books. If you like classical sci-fi Such as HG Wells or Jules verne, and fanitsy such as Tolkin and CS Lewis you will like this book. or if you are a fan of althorian ledgon you will probably like this book. Just don't peek at the end.

Women of Faith

I just got back fromt he women of faith conference. and it was great. first off it was what i needed a chance to get to a place where i could worship God and not feel hindered in any way. and of corse God spoke to me.

I have always known that God had created me to write. and at this confrence i felt that God was telling me through these amasing ladies that it was time to get sirious about it. up till now i have been just using writing as a hobby.

I have desided to stop being lazy and to start disoplining my self to finish one of the books i have been writting. In September of 2008 I will at least be sending the first volumbe of the Chronicals of Utopia to a publisher.

to get to that goal i will be setting asided apoxamitly 20 hrs every week to work on it. this will take a lot of self disopling because this was ariganly my new year's resolution.

new story post

Gotta love miraculas resuces. this will be that last of Lucky for a wail.

yes the carectores are nephium. it was something i have been wanting to play with for a wail.

sadly there are no illistrations again because i have not done them. no ther reason. hopefully i will get back to that soon.

Music wars

Is anyone else tired of the war of music. I mean since coming to work at Bismarck I have been trying to understand this war. At college there of course was no obvious signs of the war. of course it was probably there some where. at the churches that I went to wail at college there seemed to have been a cease fire, compromises, even treaties. the war was over. at my parents church where i attended during Jr. high and High school we had our skirmishes but peace has come due to the compromises made by both sides.

Here at cornerstone community Church it is a different story. there is a treaty in place but it is not doing well in keeping the peace. Since coming here i have taken the time to put together my observations plus what has been learned through experience and a class called church music and worship Plus insights gained through discussions with my mother who is a worship leader and My boss.

First off there seem to be three armies in this war. the first is the hymn only people. This is Generally in the older generation. they have this belief that curtain music is holy and other music is sinful. often times these are also people who refuse to listen to jazz, hip hop or rap. some of these people have been fighting this battle for a wail as they also did not approve of their children listening to the Beatles, Bod Dillon, or the Who. now there are others in this camp who are in our parent's generation, those who grew up in the 60s and 70s. these people either agreed that only curtain music should be played in church or due to associations they have with styles of music and their sinful past they now are in this camp. these people also have no intention of compromise, it is their way or the high way.

the second side of the war is the side that says we should only play modern music in the church. this is mostly in the twenty something age group. from my observations this army is actually is the smallest of the armies. they are also people who have not been exposed to the stories behind the hymns and so their stance is one of throwing out the old and bringing in the new.

the third army is a group that is in the middle of the two extremes. this army is made up of people of all ages, the majority being somewhere in the up coming generation to that or our parents, those who grew up in the 60's and 70's. this army believes that there is no musical style that is more holy then an other, and that all music belongs first to God. they also believe that there is great truth in the hymns and in the new songs that are being written today.

the third army is where i find myself. I love the hymns, at least most of them. there are very few songs that will ever replace the Old Rugged Cross, or It Is well With My Soul, or Amazing Grace, or (one of my personal favorites) Crown Him With Many Crowns. I also love the new stuff because it is written in the music that i grew up listening to. and the lyrics are just as powerful. Songs like Beautiful one, or Blessed be the name, or As I Wait, or I Yearn

Te last couple of months I have come to understand why this war is so violent, and the soldiers in it are so passionate. Music is powerful. God speaks to people through music. so for people songs that God has spoken to them through are part of their spiritual journey. so when someone says that a curtain style of worship song is out of date, or not appropriate, it is personal. to say that the song that spoke so emphatically to a youth kid wail they were at camp is not appropriate for Sunday worship is to say that God could not have spoken to them through that song. To say that a song is out of date that was a song that helped a grandma though a troubling time is to say that the problems she went through are out of date.

at the same time people sometimes think that because God used a certain song to speak to them means that He will speak to everyone through that song. lets face it some of the imagery of the hymns is lost to the new generation, and some of the lyrics of the new songs don't make since to the older crowd. we can't force a song down someones throat any more then we want someone forcing something down our own throats.

this had been my conclusion and I had decided I would live with the treat that was in place at the church in which I now serve. but this Sunday I was almost draw to tears because of wall I felt the music choice was making between me and worshiping God. each service our worship leaders choose two hymns, now one of the genital men in charge has decided that we will sing threw the whole hymn book in the year so we sing everything and many of them I don't know and I don't understand. this Sunday the hymns chosen were two I did not know. that is not a bad things I am good with new. we also do some contemporary songs. those this Sunday included one that I loved in college, Let it Rise. I could hardly contain myself, and then they started to play and sing it. our musicians are very talented, they play with excellence. It was not the talent involved with the playing that turned a song from a way to meet with God into a cacophony of sound but they way they played it. they played it as if it was a hymn.

any more I hate the way I feel during the singing part of worship. I feel very selfish and as thought I am trying to make the service all about me and my needs. I will remind myself over and over again this is about God. not me, this is about worshiping God corporately. if the song does not speak to me then sing anyway because it is speaking to the people around me.

But that doesn't change the fact that the music chosen places a box around me and makes me feel cut off from God. So what do I do? I don't know. I've thought of trying to find a way around this, maybe by sketching during the singing or journaling, letting God use the songs to maybe speak to me in other ways.

However this leads to another serious question, what do I do for my youth? they have not come out and said it, but from the few things that I have been said I think they are going through the same thing. how can I help them know that this singing thing is just as much for them as it is for the older people?

I am at a loss as what to do. especially in keeping with the treaty that stands by a thread to keep the peace.

news

well life is getting better. after a very rewarding trip to the wonderful world fo the bethany bubble i am back in North Dakota. youth group is not going better and i actually feel as thought i am starting to get to know my kids now. I have found a second job to help me fill up time and pay back those wonderful things called student loans.

Life is good for now.

I have hopefully gotten back to up dating my other blog on time but i haven't gotten any new illistrations done yet. hoepully i can do that tomarrow sence i am taking the day off.

News

well there is not much going on here. and i have been rather depressed latly. some of it probably has to do witht he fact that i still have not found a second job yet and soem of it probably is because i have been very lonely lattly. the church that i am working at is your stariotipical country church. which means i am the only one there my age. and this sunday that really hit home and started to miss my freinds back at school, even the few that i left in buffalo. but what i am i to do. I have no idea where to even start. because i don't hae a second job i can't join a gym of any kind, or have aquanteses at work it is very sadening.

oh well atleast i will be going op for graduation soon. maybe life will be a little brighter after that.

excightment

well I am very happy today because I have met my deadline for restarting my other blog. i have posted a new post and am now adding pictures. the new post today has a new pictures and also the first post has a new picture. if you click the picture you can see the full size. i will be cleaning it up just a little with the help of my computer, latter.

so that is the news today

Bad wine

some times when you are working on something some times it is better to take one step back before going on. when the wine is bad, throw it out.

the other day i was working on something for one of my other blogs and i started to get frustrated because it was just not working out. I started to think of my favorite seen of the agony and the ecstasy where Michaelangelo goes and destroies all the work he had done on the ceiling of the chapel. so I said, "when the wine is bad throw it out." and tore up the page. and three more pages as I continued to try that night. finally i quiet and started again yesterday. suddenly everything seemed to flow.

sometimes when we are working on something and it just is not coming, we just need to throw out the bad wine, and start agian

bananas and Easter

It is easter time, one of the two buisiest times of the year. at my church my youth decided to have an out reach for the kids. it went well they watched the veggi tale's Easter carol and then got to dye easter egges.

but there were a lot less then we anticapated so the egg dyeing did not take as much time as it should have. it was time for some inprompto. so i decided that we could do things a lttle like solid rock. we gave out prises, some extra plastic eggs with candy inside, and then did some noise contests, and threw soem candy out to the kids. there was still some time... alot of time...so I leaned onthe only crutch i had... O 'Da banana's. my youth kids got to see a very interesting side of me...and I am sure i will never hear the end of it. but the kids were intertained at least till their fock showed up and now i can Go visit my folks for easter. what a day.

the place where religon dies

Religion is not God,
Religion is not theology
Religion is not active.
It is not even alive. It is a ghost, an apparition made with smoke and mirrors. It is an empty shell; a stick man propped up and held together with duct tape. Religion is not made by God, it is made by man.

Religion is creeds memorized and recited.
Religion is doctrine,
Religion is the organized thoughts about god.
it is the practices made on a regular basis that give us an equation for living good moral lives that please the one who made us.

Religion is not bad.
Religion is not necessarily wrong,
It is not inherently evil. Religion is what helps us understand things gives us ways to remember what we have learned helps us to walk with God.

What is bad, and wrong and most assuredly evil is when religion, which is a reflection of God and theology, becomes the focus. Doctrine becomes more important that theology, reciting and memorizing creeds becomes more important then understanding them. Religious activities take priority over spending time with God. Suddenly religion which is the organizing God to help us understand him takes our focus.

It is like the moon, the light is wonderful. It brightens the night and is the subject of many songs and stories. In poetry the moon is often symbolic of mystery and the sun is often symbolic of reason. The moon reflects the light of the sun but some will get so caught up in the light of the moon that they forget that it is the sun that gave it light. Religion reflects the light of our relationship. It helps us get through those dark times when we can not feel God. But sometimes just the moon’s orbit strays into the path of the sun and blocks the light, Religion can get in to way of our relationship with God.

It eclipses it and becomes our focus. In the church today we must find the place where religion dies, for to a great extent it has eclipsed the relationship we once had with God.

i am still alive

okay so it has been a long time sence i last posted. this is to let people know that i am still alive. I have now moved to Bismark North Dekota and am working at Cornerstone Community Church as the youth and children's pastor. I have an apartment and hopefully by the end of the week I will have a second job.

for now life is good.