Saturday, February 25, 2012

Simple women's Daybook 2/25/12


You can find the more daybooks at Simple Woman's Daybook.
FOR TODAY February 25 2012


Outside my window... still my neighbor's houses. we really need to trim the hedges


I am thinking... about what I want to do today. part of me want s to cast on a bunch of new knitting projects. part of me wants to put my nose to the grind stone and write, part of me wants to get out my paints and make some masterpieces. (well at least master pieces in my mind, I don't care what anyone else thinks.)


I am thankful... For friends. that may seem generic but I am really thankful for my friends. weather it is my childhood chum or my college friends with whom i planned to change the world with our idealized and immature world views, or my friends at church. I love them all and I am so grateful for them. 


In the kitchen... a mess. I have been very lacking in my house keeper duties


I am wearing... cloths and I'm wrapped up in the Penguin blanket that Lisa made for my husband. nothing can hurt me while defended by the penguins! nothing I tell you! they give a +4 to ALL Defenses!


I am creating... a sweater, a Shawl-et, a Sock, a Cardigan, and three novels. 


I am going...  Maybe toe the Yarn Shop latter today with Jeanette.


I am wondering... I'm moving so slow today. 


I am reading... eight different books- find me on goodreads. anyway here is the list: Neverending Story, Moving pictures, Princess and the goblins, From Homer to Harry Potter, The Hobbit, The Starter, David Copperfield, the Canterbury Tales. yep that is it and yet I am thinking of starting another one...


I am hoping... hmm I don't know what I am hoping, maybe that this late winter funk with end, that would be nice. 


I am looking forward to... Hmmm I think things are going to be slowing down again, but i think right now i am looking forward to going out to lunch tomorrow with the St. Adains Crowd. 


I am learning... or I am trying to learn to stop being so hard on myself. 


Around the house... A battle mat and miniatures. I Love being a Geek!


I am pondering... What to cast on today


A favorite quote for today... "When Life gives you Lemons...Shove them down life's throat with a return to sender note." 


One of my favorite things... The Penguin Blanket of Awesomeness!


A few plans for the rest of the week: gee I don't know... there is church tomorrow, game next Saturday, Dance on Wednesday the further adventures of me trying to be 'healthy'? I think it is pretty much an empty week, which is nice considering that last week was very very busy


A peek into my day... knitting writing, walking, yarn shopping with Jeanette (yea!) and yeah I think that is it. 


The song that has been one of my life lines this week. I love this song! worth the Fight by Marie Hines

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Thoughtful Thursday: Ash Wednesday

-I want to do something special for lent here at the drumbeat. I am going to post prayers form the ancient church-
This prayer is particular to the Anglican Church. It is prayed by the Pastor before the confession during the ash Wednesday service. 


Dear People of God: The first Christians observed with great devotion the days of our Lord's passion and resurrection, and it became the custom of the Church to prepare for them by a season of penitence and fasting. This season of Lent provided a time in which converts to the faith were prepared for Holy Baptism. It was also a time when those who, because of notorious sins, had been separated from the body of the faithful were reconciled by penitence and forgiveness, and restored to the fellowship of the Church. Thereby, the whole congregation was put in mind of the message of pardon and absolution set forth in the Gospel of our Savior, and of the need which all Christians continually have to renew their repentance and faith.



Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Eleven Questions

Courtesy of Darci I have now gotten roped into answering questions. Okay yeah I think it is kind of cool to get noticed. any way here are her questions:

1. Fruit or vegetable?
Fruit.

2. Do you snack while writing? If so, what is your snack of choice?
Yep, I like popcorn, Oreos, and tea or hot chocolate

3. If you could go anywhere to feel inspired, where would you choose to go?
There is this tree on my parents property. long ago my dad put a tree stand up in it. I love that spot. sadly most of the steps have fallen down and no it is impossible to get back up there.

4. What is your favorite animal?
The Dragon

5. Have you written a story? What was your first one about?
a-yes, b. Um I'd rather that thing never was remembered by anyone. but there was this fun Tom Sawyer fan fic I wrote in middle school.

6. Favorite pizza topping(s)?
meat, Meat and more meat!

7. What's one odd thing you can do that few people know about?
I can make my tongue look like a clover.

8. Chocolate or flowers?
Flowers.
9. Name one fictional character you wish you'd been the author behind (besides Harry Potter! That's too obvious for some of us...).
Any character that Anthony Hopkins could get an Oscar playing.

10. What does your Christmas stocking look like?
white with a cute little mouse on it. My Grandpa George bought it for me.

11. What's your least favorite genre to read?
Math and Science Textbooks


Okay so now I am supposed to pick some people to have answer 11 new questions... Well I'm lazy so sorry but I am just going to end the game here. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

On The Needles- February edition

well I am sorry to say that I no finished projects. I've had a couple of projects fall through or I've just decided that I don't want to work on them. Part of this is because I have been unable to get the right pattern set up or the yarn for the right project put together. See I like to have a simple project that can go to work with me. you know one that is mostly stocking stitch so it doesn't matter that I only get ten minuets at a time to work on it, and it doesn't require too much of my mind so I can still browse twitter and facebook while on my break. and ever sense I finished up my wedding and baby gifts I've had nothing small to work on. Socks would be ideal, but i haven't yet found the pattern for that, or in the case of my husband's socks the yarn.

Any way I have a few projects on the needles a red variegated shawl-et, this will probably end up in the gift box for my sisters. Last year they didn't get a hand knit idem and I feel a little guilty for that. this shawl-et is a simple lace pattern: r1: k across, r2: K across, r3 (k2 yo) repeate k last stitch. Yet it looks so nice I can't wait to put u pictures. I;m still working on the black cardigan, but that is going slowly, not sure why probably because i haven't been knitting at home that much. And the last project is a creation of my own. I am still trying to create a knit hair net. I have stolen a pattern for a head band to start with this time and once i get something there I will start the net. I think I will still use the k3 s1 k2 passo lace stitch.

well that is my knitting update I hope you knitting is going better then mine. Thanks for stopping by and remember as Mis K says: "the next time someone makes fun of you for knitting in public just laugh it off, because after the Zombie Apocalypse you will have a  useful tool and they will just be food"

Monday, February 20, 2012

The Neverending Story 3: Atreyu's Mission


In my first post we were introduced to Bastion. In the last post bastion was introduced to the world of Fantastica. I pointed out how the Neverending story was the kind of book Bastion liked, not the stuffy school books which were always trying to convince him of something. Now in this chapter we watch as bastian begins to identify with the situation, and more importaintly with Atreyu.
Not in anyway connected to the book in question
but the conversation these two characters from
The Phoenix Requiem express the same sentimental
as the doctors trying to help the Childlike Empress

there are two ways Bastian begins to identify with what is happening in the Neverending Story. First we listen to the doctors discuss the child like empresses illness. they are helpless. they can't even figure outis scene takes bastian out of the story momentarily as he is reminded of a very different scene of doctors who were helpless. the day his mother didn't make it though a surgery. we never learn what was wrong with his mom only that she died on the operating table.
It was a moment when everything changed between bastian and his father. the change is described this way-


Bastian remembered that his father had often played with him in the past. he had even told him stories. No longer. He couldn't talk to his father anymore. there was an invisible wall around his father, and no one could get through to him. He never found fault and he never praised. Even when Bastian was put back in school his father hadn't said anything. he had only looked at him in his sad, absent way, and Bastian felt that as far as his father was concerned he wasn't there at all. 


Before I move on to the second point I'd like to take a moment to point out two similarities between his mother and the Childlike Empress.
1. they are both aflicted with some illness that doctros are helpless against.
2. without them the worlds they are a part of crumble.

Bastians mother was the heart of thier family without her bastian and his father might as well be strangers who live in the same house. we find out that the Childlike empress is looked upon as the ruler of Fantastic but she doesn't rule. rather she is the center of life in fantastica. "whether good or bad, beautiful or ugly, merry or solemn, foolish or wise-all owed their existence to her. without her, nothing could have lived, any more then a human body can live if it has lost its heart."

Okay now back to my second point about how Bastian begins to identify with the story comes with the introduction of a new character. Atreyu. but before we get to Atreyu we must spend some time with Cairon.

Cairon is called a black centaur, his upper half is that of a black (or African- to be politically correct) man and his lower half is that of a Zebra. he enters the scene wearing Auryn, (also called the gem or the Glory) and he tells the doctors what they already know. the Childlike Empress is beyond them. therefore there is only one thing to do; find a Savior. to do that they must send out a pathfinder, or a hero to go on a great quest. The Childlike Empress has given Cairon the gem and the task to find her Chosen, Atreyu one of the green skins of the grassy Ocean.

and now we go to meet Atreyu. (side note: this is  one character who was portrayed horribly in the movies, or maybe i am just getting picky. Atreyu's race is called GREEN skin. yes they are very like the Native Americans but still...) Atreyu is nothing like what Cairon expected. he is at first reluctant to give Atreyu the quest, but eventually he trusts the empress's decision. Atreyu accepts the quest without hesitation, and with it comes the gem. By taking the Gem he bares the Childlike Empress's Symbol and power.

For the rest of the Story Atreyu acts as Bastians guide to the world and his foil. and this will be one of the themes we will be looking at as the weeks progress. here though I want to point out two things these poys have in common.
1. Bastian is with out his mother, Atreyu is and orphan. but while Atreyu was then brought up by his tribe and is thus "Son of All" Bastian feels he is the 'Son of None"
2. Atreyu is all the things Bastian is not but wishes he was. in fact in a moment of wishful thinking he jumps up on the gym horse and yells "gee! Run Artax! Gee! Gee!" Artax is Atreyu's horse.

The connection between these two boys will grow through out the story but for now we will leave them here. In closing we see that the Childlike Empress has her Champion, but in answer to her hero a foe is brought forth from the darkness. Atreyu goes out on his journey with someone or something out to stop him.

till next time when we meet Morla the aged one thanks for reading and God Speed.


Saturday, February 18, 2012

Simple Women's Day book


FOR TODAY: February 18 2012
You can find the more daybooks at Simple Woman's Daybook.

Outside my window...Sun shine! and the over grown bushes that threaten to block my view. not that it is much of a view. I really don't like looking at the houses in my neighborhood. -oh how I long for the wide open view of the plains, or empty hills with a happy creek, or Sparcly placed trees or... well I should stop this wishful thinking. I live in Nicholasville, nothings is going to change that too soon. 

I am thinking... about how i hate the large number of feral cats in the neighborhood. there's more this year then last year. and some how they have figured out how to get under the house, woke up to one fighting in the crawl space. 

I am thankful... For sun shine! Please don't leave me again this spring Mister Sol, I need you for the sake of my sanity!

In the kitchen... french toast, for breakfast and for dinner last night. nothing better then american breakfast foods. 

I am wearing... Pajamas. the ones Meggs got me for Christmas last year. 

I am creating...Several things yet i feel the disparate need to cast something on, to start drawing again. right now I'm just not very good at being disciplined right now

I am going... to The Jones's today to begin battling for the hope of all the world! Seriously I'm a geek. that is what we do battle the forces of evil with math and a Icosahedron


I am wondering... if i can make the system of set a timer for 25 minuets and then take 5 minuets off work. It has an actual name but i don't know it. supposedly it makes the chick on the Knit picks pod cast more productive. I hope to do the same. 

I am reading... So many things! The Hobbit, David Copperfield (which i am likeing a lot more then I thought I would), the starter, From Homer to Harry Potter, Princess and the Goblins, Canterbury tales, and I may have started a new book called we're alive. 

I am hoping... to get a lot of writing done today. 

I am looking forward to... hanging out with friends at the Jones's

I am learning... well I would like to learn Short hand. 

Around the house... A mess- see We aren't playing Greg's game this week s i feel no reason to really clean my house this week. 

I am pondering... If i really want to try and write a serial novel for the blog. 

A favorite quote for today... "when 900 years you are look so good you will not"

One of my favorite things... Coffee in the morning. 

A few plans for the rest of the week: Lots, of course hanging out at the jones tonight, Sunday is Forgiveness Sunday, Tuesday is Shrove Tuesday so there is a pancake feed at the church, Wednesday is Ash Wednesday so we start lent, and then there is Greg's game on Friday. busy week. 

A peek into my day... I'm going to write, write and write. hopefully i will get lots done and it will be amazing. oh then i am going to try and save the world, you know for kicks and giggles. 

the Song that i think describes my hopes for the day: Cool Kids by Natalie






Thursday, February 16, 2012

Sunday Scribbles...Rest

Gilded Foundations
A Paranormal story taking place in the 1920's

Tiffany's heels clicked unevenly on her steps. It had been a long day and a longer night. her feet hurt, she had been on them all night in shoes which were far from conducive to the activity. She was so tired. she pulled her long trench coat close, the wind was picking up. of course the cloths she wore were also far from being the kind of thing any smart person would ware out. Tony, I hate you.  she thought. Tony was her boss, and her half brother, and possibly her uncle... she didn't try to understand her connection to the Stiilne family she just knew it was complicated. the kind of complicated that ended in her mother's murder, not that anyone did anything about hat kind of thing, not with the Stiilnes were involved anyway.

Any way Tony was still punishing her for what she did. That meant she worked the floor 5 nights a week. running food and drinks for him and his friends while they watched the dancers and talked 'business.' every now and again she was forced to sit on someone's lap while they gambled. said she brought them luck. She was just glad that what ever Jaan, Tony's father, had said to him years ago still held. she might sit in their lap but they never took her to the back of the saloon. Maybe it was just because she was a Stiilness, maybe not in name but a Stiilness all the same. Still Tony Stiilness wouldn't let her get any job in town except working in his Saloon, unless she wanted to do what most the bastard children of Stiilnes family did, and she could never do that.

When she got to the door she started digging for her keys.  She unlocked the door and went inside. all she wanted right now was hot water to soak her feet in and then curl up for the few hours of precious sleep she might get before her day job started. A few short hours to rest and dream that this wasn't her life. she shut the door and locked it.

Suddenly the light came on. she spun around with a drawn gun. She recognized the man sitting in the white arm chair. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I should probably get used to that kind of greeting." he took out his cigarette case and lit up.

Tiffany cocked the gun. "What do you want Jude?" So much for a restful night.

For more stories see Sunday Scribbles

Thankful Thursday 2/16

This week has had some ups and downs but on the whole it is better then last week -there has been no uncontrolled weeping at work thankfully. any way this week I am thankful for:
1. My husband. he has been sick this week but sense the last time I did one of these my birthday has come and gone. and he did an amazing job of making my birthday awesome.
2. my birthday tulips. every year for my birthday my mom sends me tulips. tulips make me happy and this year they are such happy colors, I love them.
3. Lisa Sutters, who is an amazing friend and can see through my descizes.
4. Ryan Andrews, who doesn't mind sitting on the phone with me when i am going crazy.
5. my new pens. they were greg's birthday present this year and they were made by Jon Tod. they are wonderful and work so well they make me want to sit all day and write. which is the sign of a great pen.
6. For my mother-in-law making it possible that i could go get a massage on my birthday- oh I need to have one of these more often.

If they offer it as an expression of Thankfulness, then along with this thank offering they are to offer thick loaves made without yeast and with olive oil mixed in. thin loaves made without yeast and brushed with oil, and thick loaves of the finest flour well-kneaded and with oil mixed in.
Lev 7:12

Monday, February 13, 2012

Blog hop: Is it getting hot in here

So I have never done one of these but I thought well what have  I got to lose. Here is the prompt for the Bloghop:

Those kissy scenes are hard to write sometimes, but I love reading one when it's crafted so well it feels like I'm standing beside the characters, watching with inflamed cheeks as sparks fly between the two lovebirds. 

Please share one of your favorite kissing scenes from a book you've read, from your own WiP, make one up, or write about one of your own memorable kisses. Then hop around to feel how sweet, romantic, or downright steamy other characters are getting smooched!

Interestingly enough I actually have a kissing scene in one of my works in progress, and I wasn't sure how I liked it. So this will kill two birds with one stone... I think that is the right metaphoric...any way before I post the scene(s) something you should know. Remember that little except I wrote right before my hiatus? Yeah this takes place in the same world. This is from my story that was originally My attempt at writing a science fiction, now I am hoping to change it into a fantasy that takes place in a space like setting. Something else you should know, Elliot is blind.



Love in Flight or Intimacy
Thea: 
Thea sat at the controls of her ship piloting was so simple, why couldn't everything else be this simple? She sighed, this job was going to be a disaster. Two hours ago she had checked on her passengers only to find them arguing in on the observation deck. It was going to take a miracle to get them all to work together.
Suddenly but gently she felt warm hands start to rub her shoulders, She jumped.
“So tense,” said Elliot. “you worry too much.”
she sighed as every muscle relaxed under his touch. “I don't know how this plan is going to work.”
“It will,” he assured her, “I even promise to try and be nicer to Leo.:
“Really?” sarcasm and disbelief filled her tone.
“I said try.”
she grinned.
They were then silent a while as Elliot continued to rub her shoulders. She dropped her head to her chest.
“What did you mean when you called Ki a sunset?”
“Are you jealous my sun rise?” he asked light heatedly.
“no” she answered quickly.
Elliot chuckled. “You both are very similar, full of life, hope promise and dreams. These things shine like the sun. You believe in them and thus the night filled with fears and doubts has no power over you. Ki, has to fight to believe. She wants to be she is afraid and thus the night is conquering her.”
“Why is she afraid.”
“Secrets take energy to keep, and and there is the consent fear of discovery.”
His hands soothed Thea's muscles and she felt herself falling under his spell. He kissed the back of her neck. “Elliot.” she said trying to break the spell.
He kissed her again this time near her ear lobe.
She turned her chair resolved to not let this happen, but his hands followed her movements and his lips found hers.

Elliot
Elliot always had a hard time explaining to people what it was he saw. He was blind, his eyes had been burned and stared out of his face dead and cold. But he did see. Some times he did not even understand what it was he saw. Emotions, secrets, past wounds, future dreams and hopes these gave the people around him form, and color. Or at least it felt like color mixed with scents warmth and cold. He knew his eyes did not bring to him anything of the world around him, but he could still see. It wasn't that he could know everything about every person he passed. For most people he only saw, or sensed their most present emotions. But any person if he disregarded the personal privacy of those around him he could look closely at the tapestry of their lives he could follow single threads, or at least he should be able to. He had been so afraid of that ability and what he might find woven into the tapestry of a persons life that he never exercised that power.
Others were more visible to him being filled with vivid colors that over powered him. That was what Thea was like, more so now then normal as she opened herself to him. Her warmth, happiness, and yes even her sorrow washed over him like the sun rise washing over the land and bathing it is light. Her hopes and dreams were shared with him in waves of reds and golds.

(by the way, this will be replacing this month's Out of the Note Book post.)

The Iliad 3: Achilles and Hector

So what is the Iliad about? It is called the greatest war story of all time. It is one of the first of the epics. The great epic, if you will. It has influenced on the western world is undeniable. There are many things that can be said. Today my last day for writing about the Iliad I want to focus on what I think is the core purpose of this book. and that is Honor and Heroism. See while many in a Judeo/christian world view may see the Greeks as well hedonists without morality they were very concerned with what the good life was, and what it meant to be a virtuous man. This is at the core of what Plato and Aristotle talk about, and I think it is also at the heart of what Homer is trying to tell his listeners.

So let us ask the question who is the hero? Who is it who lives the good life? who is the virtuous man? this is what I believe is the core and story behind this book. The main character of this book is Achilles. So we would think that the story is about how he is the greatest hero, the most virtuous man, and is most defiantly living the good life. 


we find out that Achilles knows that he will die in this war. He had the choice to stay and lead a long life but choice to go to war because that was the better thing to do. Here we get what is the first thing that may lead us to know what a virtuous man is. 1. The virtuous man is the one who will go to war for his fellows even if it means his death.  By going to war he has proved that he is courageous and willing to lay down his life for something bigger then himself. by this death he will be honored for his sacrifice.

---> but then, well Achilles falls to injured pride. see his prize for fighting well in battle is taken from him. he gets angry, and goes to have a talk with his mother. it just so happens that his mother is goddess, a goddess who has the ear of Lord Zeus.

Now I am actually going to give Achilles something here. see by taking his prize away Agamemnon was actually basically walking all over Achilles' honor, and that is not a nice thing to do. 2. the honor of a virtuous man is not to be shamed. So on the one hand Achilles has ever right to require an apology from Agamemnon before he will reenter the war.

But on the other hand because of Achilles' actions and the deal his mother makes with Zeus a lot of bad things happen. the deal his mother made? that the Greeks would lose so that Agamemnon would have to apologize to Achilles and by sitting out of the war Achilles wont miss out on any glory due him.

Then the death of his very good friend Patroclus happens. After morning the death of his friend he goes for revenge. he is going to kill Hector.

But now about Hector. Hector is the defender of the city, the crown prince. yes he killed Patroclus, he thought it was Achilles. and when he realized it wasn't Achilles he knew that he was a dead man. generally I am not a fan of the movie Troy, for a lot of reasons, but there is one scene I love. Hector is going to go out to war the next day, he knows Achilles is going to be looking for him, and he knows that he will not return. In the movie Hector takes his wife aside and shows her a secret way out of the city. it is a very touching scene and his wife begs him to stay behind, to stay safe. But Hector is a virtuous man. he is an honorable man. That means he must go out to battle and sacrifice his life even if he knows he will not return, even if he knows his city will not be saved by his sacrifice. His honor and virtue rely on the fact that he will go out to battle and meet his fate.
And Achilles does kill him, and drags the dead body of Hector around the city walls behind his chariot. Greeks defiantly knew how to get revenge. Yet despite the desecration of hectors body does not change the fact that he acted honorable and virtuously. Then something interesting happens. King Priam goes to the Greek camp to beg for his son's body. He puts the honor of his dead son above his own honor. So while Achilles's honor is disregarded by his piers, Hector's honor is revered even after his body is desecrated.

Achilles left home for war to live the virtuous life. He wanted fame glory and honor. Hector left the safety of his home and his loving wife because he is a virtuous man. Hector has what Achilles wants. So who is the hero? Who were the little Greek children supposed to be emulate.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Ending the Hiatus.

Okay So I've been doing some thinking. See I'm not so good with the social media and I was getting frustrated with stuff, mostly internet stuff, hence why I took the week off here and the week off of facebook. however in that week I also decided to try twitter out. my husband really likes twitter and has been saying i should just get on there. well I did and while I only have 7 Followers, and I'm only following 20 people and Have only made 17 tweets, I think I like it. I've already meet some neat people and I think I can get into it.

So time for Shameless self promotion- if you read my blog and like it (hard for me to tell, I know people view my blog but i have no idea if they actually read or like it because hey most the time i feel like I am talking to myself- part of the reason I went on hiatus)- I am GloriaSigountos on twitter. I don't promise to be funny and you might learn just how much of a geek I am, but it might be entertaining.

In other news I am rethinking my plan for this year's blogging schedule. I plan to continue my fantasy Ballads- because I love fantasy and it is what I write (don't  be fooled I really don't write science fiction anymore) I am going to continue my Jazzy creations -because I like talking about them. I don't know if anyone else likes hearing about what I am knitting, Drawing, or writing but I am a creative person and it is kind of my thing. I'm also going to keep doing the Coffee Shop Melodies -Maybe now that I am on good reads I can actually have more conversation with people on the multitude of books I read.  (Oh yeah I'm also on good reads now so please if you do that then add me as a friend) Also I will continue to participate in the Simple women's Daybook-it is just a really nice little post that helps me give a general up date and think about my life (most the time that is good) And well I have to keep Thankful Thursday -I mean come on. The thing that will change is I am not going to try and post Fantasy Ballads twice a week. that was stupid.

What I am going to do is start participating in Sunday Scribblings- well I am going to use the prompts. I haven't figured out how exactly but It will be on going and Probably some kind of general Sword and Sorcery type of fantasy. because well I am trying to become a better writer right? Maybe some of the new writers on the blog and tweet world will stop by and tell me what they think. (Amy please take advantage of this and get some revenge for the more mean comments I made on the fantasy you wrote story.)

On that note I am thinking of opening up my Nano blog to the public. And actually doing a weekly update on something I am working on or something connected to writing. this one i am not sure about because while i want to get feed back on my writing I don't plan to be self published however i noticed that several friends are posting excerpts from their work online and maybe it might be okay. I don't know still thinking on that.

So that is the after Hiatus update.yeah I think that pretty much covers it. See you tomorrow with a Coffee shop melody My last thoughts on the Iliad.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Hiatus...

I'm taking the week off. I know I've been spotty on the blog the last couple of weeks and for that I am sorry. Hopefully starting next Monday I will be back.

Friday, February 03, 2012

random writing thought

So I had this monologue come into my head the other day during the middle of one of my crazy sleepy/weepy moments just as I was crashing. what do you think: (see footnotes for clarifications on strange words)

The thoughts of a young Koile* before the lottery 

we were solders. That was what they made us to be. they needed some one, some thing to fight back the Mizlars,** those who had lost their sanity and now feed upon human flesh. our fore bearers did just that. they fought the war that no one else could win. the Mizlars were pushed back to Mizla whence they came. but victory wasn't ours. they feared us, the somethings they created. we fought their war, but theirs was the victory. our mothers and fathers were sent here to Aerosa*** where war is all we know, only war never victory. Aerosa, where the other worlds send their damned. Where the damned continue and make war amongst each other, fighting for bread because there is never enough to go around, fighting for our lives, pitiful thou they maybe. here we continue the never ending war which those in the other worlds watch, mock and gamble as though our lives mean nothing.  perhaps they don't we have lived among the damned for generations. none now remain who remember hearing thier grand parents tell them the stories of when we were solders. Maybe the rest of the worlds have forgotten, but we remember. We remember that before we were counted among the damned we were solders.

*Koile- a human who's ancestors were modified to fight the Mizlars
** Mizlars- a group of humans who went mad, after destroying their own world of Mizla they began attacking the other worlds.
***Aerosa- a virtually uninhabitable world used as a prison